Thankful vs. Appreciation

Please don’t (virtually) punch me but I don’t believe in being thankful.

I very much appreciate things in my life. I’m thrilled beyond belief at much of my good fortune. But for me, the word "thankful" sounds like another way of keeping women in their place.

Don’t like being talked over in workplace meetings? Be thankful you have a seat at the table. Baffled about why, when you negotiate for your salary, both men and other women seem shocked? Be thankful you were offered the position to begin with.

What does the word "thankful" mean anyway? I found several definitions suggesting an element of "relief."

"When you are thankful, you are very happy and relieved to have something, or that something has happened."
(See the Collins online dictionary.)

Even those phrases to me sound like women should just be glad to receive the dregs that society allows them. Yuck.

Having said all of that, I have definitely experienced the peace of mind that having a deep appreciation for what I have, and where I am in life brings.

So that’s the word I choose: "appreciation." That way I can also appreciate myself for being me - versus a feeling that I have to beg, borrow or steal to deserve it.

So what does this have to do with coaching professional women over 40 in #distressingwork?

A lot.

Even if gratitude is an important concept or value to you, it's OK to get fed up with not having what you deserve.

Imagine how you would feel truly appreciating a company/job/path you feel great about - not just another Monday morning where you know you're in the wrong place, but feel you gotta be “thankful” for it.

What if you got to the end of a Friday knowing without a doubt you did your best work, were acknowledged for it, and made a killer living? Without apologizing once for who you are or feeling relieved just to be in the room?

I would appreciate the hell out of that!

What are your thoughts on language that keeps women down?
Let me know.

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